Ode to One Oh Clock

Fuck you

Sooooo

This is coming a little late...and by a little late I mean two months or so late.

Unless of course I already posted here and completely forgot about it, which is entirely possible since I am slowly losing my marbles. They make great baby toys!

My baby boy was born and he is wiiful and huge and amazing Mike and I everyday.

And right now he's crying so I have to go lol

I am such a nice landlord, considering the land I own is my utrerus

People told Mike and I that the last month of this pregnancy was going to drag out and seem like 3 months...those people are LIARS.

This past nine months has shot by like nothing. Now I am 37 weeks and 3 days, I will be 38 weeks on Saturday, and my due date is less than 3 weeks away! Now back in November I started to pretend my due date was the entire month of Febuary that way I wouldn't be freaking out counting down the days til my estimated due date, watching it pass and then freaking out and having nervous twitchy attacks(I have never had those attacks but I assume thats what happens) or also being scared if I go into labor before my due date even if its really close. I thought that pretending that made me a GENUS! But I don't think it was so hot an idea now.
My hubby even thought it was a great idea and bought into too.

Back to the liars. THEY ARE LIARS. We are fairly much completely prepared for a baby, like clothes and stuff, and I even think we are as mentally prepared as we prolly can be, being first time parents and all. But we are willing to wait... we are not having me do umping jacks in the living room or drinking tea or whatever it is to induce labor, we are actually praying that we don't accidently do something that will make labor come faster.

In no way does that mean we aren't extremely, crazily excited to meet Junior...I'm actually not sure what it means. Maybe we are patient? BAHAHAHAHA, no we are definatly not patient. But we are perfectly willing and desperatly wanting to wait til at LEAST Febuary. And now that the month is fast approaching we realize that faking ourselves out with the due date, we have accidently made the entire month of Febuary a nervous waiting month.

Friends ask us, "I bet you want that baby out now huh?" and when we say, "No, we're good." They look at us like we a new kind of bug and then don't know how to respond. Maybe we are a new kind of bug.

If we are I want to be a really cool green glittery bug with iridescent wings and really skinny purple antenna and big yellow eyes that kind of look like fly eyes, but less creepy, and when I fly I don't want to make any noise and I want to be an all year around bug that way they never know when I am coming!

.... I guess this is a good place to end my post...on bugs

ps if any of you take my bug idea we are going to have some problems

pps if any of you find a way to turn yourself into bugs I guess I will be low on the list of problems

ppps I feel like this post has turned into me just spuing nonsense


pppps my wings would look like ladybug wings

Oh Donuts...and orange juice

I have been craving orange juice and donuts here lately, and cucmebers, and cereal, and cream cheese...thats about it.

We just had donuts for dinner, because I am very persausive...and because I suppose donuts are delicous.

By the by I am almost 36 weeks! And one of my baby showers is this weekend, which I am totally stoked about, theres not a lot of people I got to see during my pregnancy so far and I am excited to see them this weekend.

I don't know what to put right now, I am tired and all I can think about is that I only have 4 weeks til my due date...4 weeks....4weeks....4WEEKS....$WEEKS!

Junior is going to be HUGE

Well not really huge, but a nice healthy size...kinda like plump, or just healthy...is it obvious yet that I really don't know.

Yesterday at the baby doc appt. we got to meet one of the other midwives(she was a little crazy but nice), while there we also asked if she could tell how big Junior was going to be. It went kinda like this:

Me: "Uh..is there anyway you can tell how big he is going--"
Midwife: "I'd say 7-8lbs."
Me: "....what?"
Midwife: "If you make it to full term then based on your measurements he will be 7-8lbs."
Me: "...."
Mike: *laugh*"That's great! We get a big baby!"
Midwife: "Yeah. Well, he's not going to be a 9lb baby or anything like that, but 7-8lbs, well actually closer to 8."
Me: "...cool."

Yeah, it took a while to sink in, like 30 mins, and Mike kept asking why I was surprised when most people ask if we are having twins, and I didn't really have a reason. Well I did, but it doesn't make much sense.
My reason was I thought that the reason I was getting so big is cuz they messed up on the due date or something, not because I had the ability to form an almost 8lb child.
And after it sunk in, I was like: HELL YEAH! Not only do we get a baby that is super cool(cuz hes our baby and thats just how it is) and embarrasses ultrasounds tecs like a pro, but hes going to be a big healthy baby! OUR BABY IS SO COOL!

And then after that I wondered if I was going to be able to push him out or not, but thanks to medical science and advancement I didn't have to ponder that long. Cuz if I can't push him out I know they can cut him out.

As long as I get my super cool baby.

FUCK YEAH!

End of semester, turned in all of my homework!

Or you know the stuff I got done...no kidding I got everything done...well...shit I don't know.

But it's to late now and I'm over it! Now I just have to wait and hold my breath while my grades come in, sad part is that if I fail any classes it won't be because I missed to many classes or because of missing work, it will be because my skill level of my assignments and projects. Ugh, it will be really super when I am totally done with school.

So now I that I am done I have absolutely nothing to distract me from the impending baby due date, and it's really exciting and totally scary. I do not think 9 months is enough to prepare for a HUMAN BEAN!(yes I intentionally spelled that wrong, enjoy it) No matter how many other people have done it before, it just doesn't seem like enough time.
Christmas doesn't count as a distraction since its coming in like a week or so, because everyone will be talking about Junior and how they can't wait til he's here, and even though I am totally excited I could prolly wait a little longer and be just fine. Also Christmas lasts a day and thats not enough of a distraction.

Not sure if this post even makes sense...I'm pretty tired, like really sleepy...you prolly are wasting your time reading this.
If thats the case:

YOUR WELCOME

Sleep has kicked me to the curb

I can't sleep anymore, I mean I do sleep, for like 2-3 hour periods. Sometimes I wake up because of uncomfortableness(don't know if thats a word), or to pee, or just because I'm not tired anymore just to fall asleep ten mins later because of how fucking tired I am!

I wake up thinking I might have bruises cuz of how hard he is kicking, which is pretty cool cuz then I could be like "LOOK WHAT MY BABY CAN DO!" but it hurtsss.

I have dreams that Junior comes out too big, or way too small, that people want to dress him in purple, you know little nightmares.

I don't know how to end this post.

I think I am just going to end it.

...

The End.

Fin!

okay I'm done.