Thursday, July 28, 2011

Ugh okay grown up time...I have to buy a bra

Okay because of a good friend and a lovely husband, I have to suck it up and go out and buy a new bra. Bras are stupid.

I don't care if they make your boobies look nice or that they come in kinds of pretty shapes and sizes, they are LIARS!

They are comfortable when you put them on in the store and maybe for a day or two then BAM! They pinch and fold your skin in the wrong places, they have to much fabric which makes you feel inadequate even though its your damn size, the straps hurt and leave tiny marks, and even though you asked for a nude color bra, just so you could wear it with your nice white t-shirts, you can see it through the shirt!

Bras are stupid.
And I have to have one :( cuz my boobs are really starting to sag, and they really never had before.

A good friend said I should get one before its too late and they are keeping my knees warm, and my husband keeps looking at them and chuckling....he mentioned orangutans at one point.
Both is good and terrifying advice, which is making me venture out to find the cheapest bra I can find so I can throw it in the trash once I grow out of it, which might be in the next month, or weeks, I don't know how this boob thing works.


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Everything is INFLATING...and sagging

My boobs are getting huge, and starting to sag a little, which just makes me sweat a LOT more. It's really really gross. My butt is getting bigger, still. Which is awesome and makes my pants fit so much better.

Thats a lie, by the way, pants are now a 5 minute process once they reach the mountain that is my ass. Oh and its sagging nicely too, pretty sure I can hold a pencil up with it, which is a talent I could prolly win awards for.
My belly is not sagging yet, but it is inflating, and I have only gained 2 pounds so far. I keep having these weird dreams that my belly gets slightly bigger over night and then I don't notice it til I try to put a shirt on that no longer fits.

I don't have anything funny to say to end this post....I'm sorry I failed you.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Normally I wouldn't be so violent, but right now, don't let me near a gun

So to recap a little, I saw a kickass zombie flash mob at the Lancaster Arts fair, done by my wonderful friend and her family. Like I said it was kickass, later I will post a video. Then I threw up at a Mcdonalds and prehaps left my wallet there. No worries though, whoever found it would have turned it in, there is no money in it hehehe.

On other things, I just read about what happened in Norway, where there was a shooting at a youth camp and 84 were killed. Parents are said to still be looking for there kids.

I recently read something that pregnant women really shouldn't read about things that involve children, babies or parents dying, but I had to keep reading the article about Norway because I kept hoping that I would come to the part where the gun back fired took off half the mans face and he slowly bleed to death.
Targically that didn't happen, he still fucking alive.

Some parents are stilling looking for their kids...I never thought I would WANT to shoot someone, but I really think I would if I had a gun and I was near him. Fucker.

The best thing about this, is that I am a Christian and I believe that if he finds faith then God will accpet him and forgive him, which is why I love our merciful God, but even if he did ask forgivness he would have to live with those killings for the rest of his life, and it would be his own personal hell.

AND if he doesn't find faith, then I know that hell has a special room for him where worst tortures than I can imagine and he totally deserves will be waiting.

PS I kinda think pregnancy makes me a little more violent

PSS Even if I wasn't pregnant I would be pissed, but maybe not as violent

PSSS Maybe

Friday, July 22, 2011

This is all true, VERY VERY True

I Stumbled upon this wonderful link, in which the guidelines for all non-pregnant people interacting with pregnant people should follow.

I want this on a t-shirt, I don't care how long it would have to be or what size the type is, I will stand still so people can be informed. I'm nice like that.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

My husbands WONDERFUL

Last night it was super hot, not like you know sexy, but actually HOT sweating totally uncomfortable heat. So I asked Mike, my wonderful hubby, to please get me a ice cub or bottle of water or something cold to lay on my back.
He came back with a 3/4 empty gallon bottle of Jager left over from our wedding. Its been in our freezer ever since and it felt AMAZING! I think I might have fell asleep with it on my back, but I'm not sure...prolly because I fell asleep.
I just think it is so sweet that Mike brought me, literally, the biggest cold thing he could find.

On a slightly sillier note, can you imagine a pregnant woman in her jammys passed the fuck out with a gallon bottle of Jager on her back??

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

No Puke Today!

AND I ate two apples, which is healthy and stuff, annndd found a outfit that I could wear that doesn't hurt me, and thats pretty much it. I wasn't very productive today...Oh oh I upped a level in Black Ops! So take that nonproductivness, HA!

....Ach! Fine I'll be honest, I don't think I can count the outfit thing, its a nighty....

Not a useless see-through one though, a solid one that I can walk out onto the porch and get the mail without having to worry about my woman parts showing, which is a big deal since my ass now makes almost ever dress or skirt I own about 3 inches shorter. Its turning into a damn shelf.

So I guess, the nighty does count!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My skirts hurt now

The elastic that holds up my pretty skirts, and also hides my pregnant, but doesn't look pregnant, just looks like fat, belly now hurts my sides. Its to the point that I consider the looks I would get if I just took off my skirt in public places. Everyone has seen a barely dressed woman before right? This is America.

AND I just had a dietian tell me that I have a nutritional problem...Slow Weight Gain.

Slow weight gain my ass, no really MY ASS! They should have just looked at it, its huge! Its like someone, a sneaky someone, stuck balloons in my ass and they inflate a little more everyday. Which is why the beautiful elastic in my skirts and soft shorts no longer are helpful, just painful, and irritating, and possibly a future cause of public nudity.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Did I mention I was pregnant?

Cuz I am, about 10 weeks or so. I am not eating fish, and I don't always throw up, but I feel sick almost everyday. I'm starting to show which I think is crazy exciting, but my clothes not fitting anymore really sucks. I wanted to find a blog that talks about the bitchiness of pregnancy, but also a place where people are can be mushy about being preggo.
Couldn't find one so I thought I would make my own, even it just turned into a really public journal. Do you like the background?? I chose it because it reminded me of blood, cleverly disguised as girly decoration.

Which is kinda a visual metaphor for this blog...kinda

I miss tuna

Or any kind of fish.
Mainly tuna.

Morning Sickness ROCKS!

I just love when you feel that flip of the tummy and taste the spagetti you ate last, its just sooo nice. I especailly love it when I try to run to the bathroom, put up my hair so I don't get puke in it, and throw up in my hand, at the same time! I didn't even make it to the toilet, just the sink.

If you didn't get that that entire thing was a lie, you should either check your eye sight, or grow another brain cell to rub up to the other one.

No I'm kidding, that was last bit was a lie, not the first part. I am really kidding, grow another brain cell.