Junior is going to be HUGE

Well not really huge, but a nice healthy size...kinda like plump, or just healthy...is it obvious yet that I really don't know.

Yesterday at the baby doc appt. we got to meet one of the other midwives(she was a little crazy but nice), while there we also asked if she could tell how big Junior was going to be. It went kinda like this:

Me: "Uh..is there anyway you can tell how big he is going--"
Midwife: "I'd say 7-8lbs."
Me: "....what?"
Midwife: "If you make it to full term then based on your measurements he will be 7-8lbs."
Me: "...."
Mike: *laugh*"That's great! We get a big baby!"
Midwife: "Yeah. Well, he's not going to be a 9lb baby or anything like that, but 7-8lbs, well actually closer to 8."
Me: "...cool."

Yeah, it took a while to sink in, like 30 mins, and Mike kept asking why I was surprised when most people ask if we are having twins, and I didn't really have a reason. Well I did, but it doesn't make much sense.
My reason was I thought that the reason I was getting so big is cuz they messed up on the due date or something, not because I had the ability to form an almost 8lb child.
And after it sunk in, I was like: HELL YEAH! Not only do we get a baby that is super cool(cuz hes our baby and thats just how it is) and embarrasses ultrasounds tecs like a pro, but hes going to be a big healthy baby! OUR BABY IS SO COOL!

And then after that I wondered if I was going to be able to push him out or not, but thanks to medical science and advancement I didn't have to ponder that long. Cuz if I can't push him out I know they can cut him out.

As long as I get my super cool baby.

FUCK YEAH!

End of semester, turned in all of my homework!

Or you know the stuff I got done...no kidding I got everything done...well...shit I don't know.

But it's to late now and I'm over it! Now I just have to wait and hold my breath while my grades come in, sad part is that if I fail any classes it won't be because I missed to many classes or because of missing work, it will be because my skill level of my assignments and projects. Ugh, it will be really super when I am totally done with school.

So now I that I am done I have absolutely nothing to distract me from the impending baby due date, and it's really exciting and totally scary. I do not think 9 months is enough to prepare for a HUMAN BEAN!(yes I intentionally spelled that wrong, enjoy it) No matter how many other people have done it before, it just doesn't seem like enough time.
Christmas doesn't count as a distraction since its coming in like a week or so, because everyone will be talking about Junior and how they can't wait til he's here, and even though I am totally excited I could prolly wait a little longer and be just fine. Also Christmas lasts a day and thats not enough of a distraction.

Not sure if this post even makes sense...I'm pretty tired, like really sleepy...you prolly are wasting your time reading this.
If thats the case:

YOUR WELCOME

Sleep has kicked me to the curb

I can't sleep anymore, I mean I do sleep, for like 2-3 hour periods. Sometimes I wake up because of uncomfortableness(don't know if thats a word), or to pee, or just because I'm not tired anymore just to fall asleep ten mins later because of how fucking tired I am!

I wake up thinking I might have bruises cuz of how hard he is kicking, which is pretty cool cuz then I could be like "LOOK WHAT MY BABY CAN DO!" but it hurtsss.

I have dreams that Junior comes out too big, or way too small, that people want to dress him in purple, you know little nightmares.

I don't know how to end this post.

I think I am just going to end it.

...

The End.

Fin!

okay I'm done.

Pregnancy: The shit no one tells you about

I walked to the kitchen to get a drink of water, felt the urge to throw up, immediately threw up in the kitchen trash can(and on the side of the fridge) and at the same time peed my pants.

I only threw up a cup of coffee, half a cup of tea, and all of my vitamins, but the bags under my eyes still swelled up to the size of grapes.

Halves of grapes I suppose, but big grapes, big halves of grapes.

Those little surprises that need medicated

The other day I was having a ton of braxton hixs when I wasn't supposed to be, and even though I was for sure that nothing was wrong(or as others call it 'denial') I went to Labor and Delivery. When I got there they had to put me in a big Baby Giving Birth room instead of the small testing room because they ran out of beds in there, which I found slightly scary at first, then realized it was just really cold and not enough blankets.
They gave me a hospital dress and a weird hunk of blanket that they told me to "step into". I asked what the hunk of blanket was for and they said it was a belly band. My thoughts: 'You gave me a belly band to wear, but no pants? Can I trade?' The question must have seeped onto my face through my brain because the nurse informed me it was to hold the monitors in place.
After doing a swirling dance to tie myself into the stupid dress, the nurses then proceeded to laugh at me when I exited the bathroom. Apparently I had turned the dress into something they have never seen before resembling something like a toga. And they really did laugh...loudly. Even though the nurse fixed my dress for me, I was glad that I accidentally peed all over the cup, rather than just in it, and happily watched the nurse carry it out.
The first thing they did was check if I was dilated. And since I think that you deserve a laugh more than I need my dignity,  I shall tell you how it went.
I had two nurses, one new and one old, and the new one checked me first. I told them I have never been checked before, and the older nurse told me how to position myself to make it easier....it was the most awkward position ever. It was made even more awkward because the older nurse was explaining it wrong.
Old Nurse: 'Place your hands on your hips and pull up.'
Me: 'Okay.'
Old Nurse: 'No, place your hand on your hips.'
Me: 'These are my hips.'
Old Nurse: 'No lower.'
Me: 'My thighs?'
Old Nurse: 'No, lower.'
Me: '...My butt?'
Old Nurse: 'Yes, your butt. Now pull up.'
Me: '...' (This is the point in which I spread my butt cheeks)

And the new nurse checks me, which takes a while because she has only done it once before.

After the new nurse the old one checks her work, the work being ME. Like I'm a homework assignment.

Old Nurse: 'Okay, now pull up on your hips.'
Me: '...huh?' (My cheeks are still spread)
Old Nurse: 'Your doing it wrong. Pull up on your hips.'
Me: '...Okay.'
My thoughts: 'Why the FUCK didn't you tell me I was exposing my asshole for no reason! WHY!?'
Old Nurse: 'No, your hips.'
Me: 'These are my hips!'
Old Nurse: 'No, lower.'
Me: 'Do you mean my ass?! Is that what you want me to pull up, my ass!?'
Old Nurse: 'Ha, yes your ass.'
Me: *sigh* 'Okay.'
Old Nurse: 'No, put your hands under, and pull up'
Me: 'Like this?'
Old Nurse: 'No, put them under, and pull up.'
Me: 'I am. My hands are under my ass, and I am pulling up.'
Old Nurse: 'No, make fists.'
Me: 'Fists?'
Old Nurse: 'Yes.'
(I realize at this point that this woman wants me to HOLD my butt up so that they can find my cervix better, I also realize that this woman is retarded.)

The check is then done, and at which point Junior kicks the old nurse from inside of me, and the nurse yelps, 'He kicked me!'
Good Boy, sticking up for mommy.


In the end, I wasn't dilated or anything, and my tests came back and I had a yeast and urinary track infection, which can cause contractions, and now I am on antibiotics. Its the best possible solution, and I am very thankful for it.

The end of a VERY long post.

plz don't hate me.

there should be nothing in my bladder

But apparently there is...because I have peed my pants twice this morning. Goody.

Iron Supplements aka ShitturnGREEN pills

The title of this post basically says everything about the post that I am going to write.

The pharmacy told me the supplements might turn my urine or poop a different color, but its only my poop, and its the EXACT same color as the pills.

Strangely enough, the pills are this pretty teal green color....now if I could only get my shit to smell like roses.

Dear Hormones

Just shut the fuck up.


Thanks

Fear and Pride

In most peoples thought process' a person who has no fear is strong and having pride is an accoplishment.

People who have pride and fear nothing are usually considered heros, books and legends have proven this.

I don't want to be a hero, I want to be happy. Pride gets in the way to much, causing fights that are senseless, so if I have any I try to throw it away. And I fear almost everything, the dark, being alone, things that I can't control(which is almost everything). The only reason I don't throw away my fear is because it doesn't get in my way.

Fear and Pride mean nothing compared to my Happiness.

There is a reason...

That I haven't been posting that much. Nothing is really happening, yet at the same time a lot of stuff is happening.

There's not a lot of stuff that I know you would want to read about, but there is a lot of stuff that I have to do, like homework...well mostly homework.

Uh, lets see...I finished ALL of the laundry the other day, by MYSELF. That right there is a true accomplishment for me, because it has never happened and I had absolutely no reason for doing it except for the pile was getting big enough to hide people in it(thats kinda normal for us)
Mom thinks nesting kicked in, Mike hopes it did, I don't think so.

I cut out little tiny fairies for my photo project and my finger swelled up. I have never seen this before so I thought it was cool.

We have a baby appointment on Wed. in which they will make me drink something that they assure me will just taste 'really sugary, definitely not bad', which I assume means it will taste awful. I asked if was worse than whiskey, cuz I can take a shot of whiskey and that tastes like shit, so if it was worse than that we would have problems, and the nurse replied, 'oh no! its better than whiskey. I know what you mean I hate whiskey.' I'm not sure what that means but I don't think she understood what I meant at all.

I keep telling people wrong when they ask me how far along I am, not on purpose, just because I am really bad at math. I keep asking Mike how far along I am so I can keep track.
I am almost 6 months :)

Junior is coming fast! And instead of asking myself if I am ready to be a parent, I keep wondering if I should breast pump before he gets here, just in case he doesn't do that latching thing...which I kinda think means I am sorta maybe ready.

Okay, that was a shitty post, I'm sorry. Please don't hit me with rocks.

Please.

I am totally HUGE

Well not really.
If you saw me on the street and didn't know me from before the pregginess, then you would think, "preggy or not?" Or if you could recognize that I'm preggy then you might think, "not very far along."

but I'm like a week away from being 6 months, so I am more than halfway and I am literally growing everyday, noticeably, to me at least.

Is it supposed to happen this fast? I've been told it is, but its so hard to believe because its happening to my body. I'm almost out of my coco butter, not because I, in a frantic attempt to avoid stretch marks, have been smearing it on thicker, but because there is A LOT more skin to cover....Ok I might be smearing it on a little thick.

And does anyone know how to crack the lower part of your back when you have a belly that looks and feels like a basketball? Its really hard to lay on my stomach, and when ppl see me they scream and think I am crushing the baby. (Mom)
I'm not, because if you have ever laid on a basketball you would know that the basketball doesn't move, it just smushes you, which is what happens when you lay on your pregnant belly.
And if that crushing the baby thing were true people wouldn't pay for abortions.

Junior is moving like a damn soccer player these days, its so COOL! The only time its not cool is when he kicks me awake, then its like, "Huh? Why did I wak-OW!"
Because of him moving so much I keep imaging him outside my belly. but my imgaination is limited because I have no experience with newborns, so instead of imagining what they show on tv I just keep seeing Junior sleeping(hopefully), and smiling(hopefully), and having arguments with him, that he won't understand, about kicking his legs when I change his diaper because he gets poop on them when he does that. These things just keep circling in my mind, and even though it doesn't seem likely, it fills up my brain making it impossible to do normal things.

I wish I could bottle bliss and hand it out like candy.

This pregnancy thing is reeking havoc on my mind, I can barely remember what I did last week.(thats not true, I actually can't remember what I did last week, don't call the funny farm plz)

^That's a disclaimer in case I get off track. Okay! Now for the real shit!

So here lately my friends and family, which are basically the same people, have been having a lot of shit thrown their way. When I say 'shit' I mean bad luck, hard decisions, and the not nice side of life.
Everyone goes through tough times like this, but it seems to have formed a bubble around the people I love at the moment.

Things like car accidents, money problems, family sickness, and those kinds of decisions that once you choose one path to walk there truly is no turning back. The best part about writing about this is that I know that people who read this will understand exactly what I am describing. These are the kind of things that don't just make a bad day, they can make a bad few months, sometimes even a bad year.

I don't know how to fix cars, the money I have to hand out is at max about ten dollars, I am no doctor, and I don't want to decide your life. But I can listen, and maybe give some advice and/or chocolate.

I wish I could bottle my happiness, or whatever chemical it is my brain releases whenever I get into some bad shit that says, "Well, fuck it. It will all be okay in the end."


Because it has to be okay in the end, for me at least. My goal in life is to be happy, and I keep that in mind with every decision I make. When decisions are taken from me, and life throws me something stinky, that chemical in my brain comes in handy. It brings reality to the forefront of my mind, reality that this bad situation is a passing phase, if it wasn't people wouldn't plant flowers, or smile for photos, there wouldn't be any laughter.
And since I can still see all these things and more I can sigh, not waste to much of my stress and tears(I would rather use my tears on a good book, wedding, or laughing to hard) and get through it.
I've talked with a few of my family members about my way of handling things, and they are usually confused and envious(not bragging) about how I can wave away dirt and bad air to see the light at the end.

I can do that because I know its the truth. Happiness isn't always big, sometimes its really really small, you just have to keep a lookout for it and grab it, cuz otherwise it will just pass you by.

^^Bottle that shit right there. Plz take with a smile and some chocolate.



ps I am glad I put that disclaimer at the top, because I think I went off subject somehow. I don't know how cuz I can't remember what it was exactly that I wanted to write about, but I am pretty sure this is damn close.

pss Pretty sure

Sorry I was MIA

I've have been losing my mind, and can't remember if I have done stuff already or not. I somehow thought when this "absentmindedness" came that I would remember that I forgot something, but thats a no go. I forget completely, which means I forget that I forgot...which is how insanity is born.

So our vague theme of woodsy green and brown for Junior was ruined with one trip to Babies R Us. Mike fell in love with this 'playard' thing that will be replacing our crib and also is a playpen, bassinet, mobile, and diaper changing table. It also has a hamper and shelves, and its about 3 feet tall and can be folded up and carried around.

All this kickass cool shit, and it the damn thing only comes in one color choice of blue and brown. Thats just silly. But doesn't really matter because we have to have it.

Mike also discovered that he LOVES baby stuff with monkeys on it. I hold up a cute baby sweater and he holds up a identical one except for the little monkey head on the front. His is better, and you can't make him think otherwise.

I discovered that I do not have as much of an opinion as Mike does when it comes to what our baby will wear, sleep-in, and eat out of. My only preference that I am aware of is, "Can we find this softer?"

I think its fantastic that it has worked out this way. Mike picks things and brands with good reason backing him up, so much so that I question why I didn't think of these things, and totally appreciate that he did. One of us should right?


ps this post was supposed to be about something else, but I forgot.

pss actually now I can't remember if I had a subject in mind when I began writing this post

psss is today even Tuesday?

Did I mention I think I am more violent?

Pretty sure I did post that at some point.

I am not sure that my feeling of violent behavior is even note worthy to the normal population. I have only felt the urge once to hit someone, then actually follow through with the urge. I felt terrible immediately afterwards....sorry Mike, but the snow was really cold and it got in my socks!

Other than that one situation, I don't have any other examples of violence.

Now however, I believe my pregnancy has effected that dormant part in my brain. It's not necessarily violence, but it sure feels like it to me. I scream at people who drive stupid, hoping that their windows are down so they can hear me, I have to stop myself from yelling at the old people who, inconsiderately, stand in front of my friends wedding video and block the view, and its a weird and new sensation, that I don't control well because I have never had to.

And controlling it in the current situation that I find myself in is turning into something nearly impossible.

My photography professor is a bitch, and I am going to make her cry.

I have checked with other trusted people on what they would do to a person who talks someone(me) into buying a inexpensive camera to replace her old broken one then mocks said inexpensive camera in front of the class calling it a "shitty cheap camera", a person who pulls someone aside and asks them how they even passed Photo I and then talks to them like they're stupid(not me, but might as well have been, don't fuck with my friends!), and finally, a person who asks someone(me and friend) to redo a project that took a few weeks to complete, in one day, then after not completing in the one day announcing to the class that those who didn't complete the project(me and friend) should send apology letters around.
The trusted people that I have checked with say that she is a power hungry whore that needs bopped in the face. Preferably with something heavier than a fist.

So I have decided that I am going to manage my behavior until after my friend and I turn in this project, more for the benefit for my friend so she can wipe that silly smile off our Professor's face with her beautiful photographs, then I am not going to try to control myself anymore.

Thinking of all the choices I have to release my anger on this woman make me smile, don't worry none of them are physical. They're more along the lines of sending her an email that only says "Fuck you." and taking a well exposed photo of my middle finger with a caption underneath that says "No really, go fuck yourself" and turning it in as a project.

I kinda hope these feelings go away after the birth.

Kinda.

We're having a BOY!

Isn't that wonderful!!!
Thats not really a question because if your answer would be anything but yes, I would somehow jump through the computer screen and strangle you slightly, not fully but slightly. To avoid all of that, I didn't make it a question.

Michael Joseph Junior will be apart of our family in February. I am so happy. He moved around a lot on the Ultra Sound, and I finally connected that weird feeling I was having to him punching me. Junior stretched then cuddled into a ball, he even sucked his thumb while we were watching him. He's absolutely beautiful.
Then he proved that he was going to be a true Sunkle boy (men on my husbands side) and he actually managed to embarrass the Ultra Sound Tech. while still in the womb.

At first it was very hard to find my baby's boy part, then 'for some reason' it was very easy.

Honestly if the woman had just come out and said it rather than try to describe it without using the real word I think she would have been a tad less embarrassed. Mike and I stared at her in confusion while she told us, repeatedly, "that sometimes it just sticks out, you know its perfectly natural, and sometimes they do that in the womb. It, uh, just sticks out like that" until it dawned on us that the word she was avoiding saying was (COVER YOUR EARS CHILDREN) "erection."

Sunkle boys take any opportunity, if it presents itself, when they can possibly embarrass the hell out of someone. Our son made that Ultra Sound Tech's face very red.

And I would like to say, HA top that shit! Wombs cannot contain his personality! Our son is AWESOME.

Back from sunburn heaven

It feels like I was gone forever, but really it was only a week. I have to catch up on school work and get used to reality.
A couple things happened on vacation,

One: I got so sunburnt that the baby is going to come out with a tan.

Two: I saw a billboard on the way down there promoting an aquarium with an image of a parrot on it. Either someone is really stupid or they are drowning parrots there.

Three: Mike and I had a discussion about how the USA should be spending their money now that they closed down the space program. I decided that we should focus on taming sharks so we can ride them like dolphins and Mike decided that I was retarded.

Lots of other things happened during the cruise, and I will share them with you later, or possibly forget about them entirely.

This totally happened

I pulled the "Pull" tab on this package to open in....I pulled the "Pull" tab off.

Can you believe that shit?

The package remains unopened.

I'm going to the Bahamas Bitches!

Oh yeah! Gonna get my sunburn on! Hehehaha.


All I really wanted to do was rub it in anyones face who is not going to the BAHAMAS!
Thats the whole reason for this post.

So while I roll in the sun, you (whoever is reading this) will be soaking in the rain, put that in your pipe and stare at it because you won't be able to light it because it will be all wet from the rain that your soaking in.


Ha!

Not much about pregnancy

Here lately I have been writing a lot about school, and nothing about pregnancy. Soo I thought I would write about it a little now, because that is what the blog is called.

I look preggy now :) its fun, but along with that I really don't fit into most of my clothes. Like 75% of them. I am dead certain that I am growing everyday, Mom says its totally possible and the other morning I could feel it.
Not the baby, but the belly, which I guess is the baby, well it didn't move or whatever. I tried getting out of bed and it was a lot more difficult then it normally is. I realized that something was on my stomach and that was what was making it hard to move....it was my belly.
I feel like its not actually part of my body. Its like this baby incubator that is attached to my front, but not actually my organs or body parts.

I got Mike a "Dad" cup and he smiled at it, then told me to stop getting him 'daddy' stuff because it was "freakin' him out". Which I took as I should get him A LOT more 'daddy' stuff.
He doesn't want to go look at baby stuff, and I think one of the reasons is that he wants to buy EVERYTHING. But the other reason, I think, is this weird sense of denial, like "we don't need this stuff yet because we got time."
Which I totally understand because thats what keeps me from actually buying the baby stuff. I just want to go look at it, and rub my cheek on the blankets, and ask out loud "do you think baby will play with this?" to nobody, or to strangers which stare at me.

Honestly, time is going by fast. I'm 17 weeks now, and even though I keep looking at my belly and sending mental messages like, "You can take a rest for a little while, stretch this out a little, cuz once I poop you out you are going to be so pissed." it doesn't take my advice, it actually seems to speed up.

I had to buy a bathing suit yesterday. We are going on a honeymoon trip, gifted from my Dad, next week to the Bahamas. None of my bathing suits fit now, at least not the tops, which now look like those bathing suit tops that models and porn stars wear.
Trying on bathing suits was super weird since I don't recognize my body anymore. It was like dressing someone else and guessing at their sizes. I did pretty good though, and got a purple bikini that covers everything that is supposed to be covered.

Green apples make me throw up.

Okay I think that is good enough for the pregnancy post, devour that and let it digest. Don't eat it to fast or you will get the hiccups.

Dear teacher who considers me stupid

"Your last name is different on the class list on Go Studio. Just wondering about that.  Please let me know, Ms. Douglas"

I realize that I may be not as understanding with this woman because of my dislike of her, but I still have to know if she is just being nosy or lazy.

I recently got married, and I love telling people that, so I don't mind when people ask if I changed my name because of marriage. But thats not what she is asking. Infact I'm not sure what she is asking.

I might have confused her when I signed my email I was sending her, asking about how to sign on to the appropriate class online so I could complete my homework, Bryn Sunkle. But I have to believe that she would use the same problem solving technique she so helpfully supplied me with, "Bryn, you need to read the syllabus thoroughly".

Oh, thank you, my problems are solved. Accept for the fact that I did read the syllabus thoroughly, before emailing you in desperation two days before the homework is due. Thats how I got onto the fucking website to begin with!(did I mention this was a online class?)

What I learned, other than what website to go to sign up, was that you do not know how to use a word processor program, have no idea how to use the tab key, and are forgetful(because you repeated information several times)

 

Since reading paperwork was your idea of solving my problem, why not use it on yourself? UPDATE YOUR ROSTER! Then the name I signed my email with will make sense, because I am infact not completely stupid, because the first day I was at school I changed my name with them, so its in their systems.

The fact that you haven't updated your roster since the first day of school is kinda scary, considering that most of the student body during the first week change their schedule multiple times. Are you sure I am even in your class??? Just some helpful hints,

From your dumb student

My friends are Mama Lions

So school started Monday, and I have class everyday, which is so nice to plan around.
It was strange and wonderful being back on the campus though, strange because I forgot how colorful a person can dress, and wonderful because I somehow fit in here.

I love most of my classes, except for Intro to Psych (online). I met the teacher once and DO NOT like her. She sent me a few emails that just reinforced the feeling of dislike. But other than her, the rest of the teachers seem like they will actually teach me something.

Some bummer news is that since I am preggo there is no way I can finish my second semester, thus not graduating this year like I planned. I just figured this out yesterday, but I am strangely not as sad as I thought I would be after finding this information out. I know it will be okay.

Some awesome news is that my friends are super protective of me. Walking in a crowded classroom, I tripped and slammed into a table, my friends however thought that this boy walking next to me pushed me. They whipped around fast and cornered the boy. Megan, one of the two, came to the realization that I was clumsy first. Katie, however, did not realize this and jumped at the boy with her hands clenched into fists. I think she stopped herself from full on attacking him because he said he was sorry, even though he didn't do anything, she was kinda scary.

I thought I would turn into a mama lion, being preggy and all, but it seems my friends have turned into lioness' instead.

Its wonderful to have friends that would beat a boy to a pulp for a misunderstanding.

Just measured my ass

My ass is larger that my belly.
I realize in normal conditions this may be seen as a good thing, but since I am preggy, and my belly seems to be growing everyday, growing bigger than it ever has, my ass should NOT be bigger.

Belly: 36 in
Ass: 40 in

Now I do have to say that my measurements were prolly not exactly on the dot, my tools were earbuds and a plastic ruler, but the fact still remains that somehow my ass has outgrown my belly.
I just can't get over the fact.

Maybe my ass is going to have a child.

My defination of licking is different

I was going to write a nice post, one that was soft and fuzzy and had something to do with my unborn baby, but I can't remember what it was. I going to have to start writing shit down.

I have a Pinterest account and on the account I have a board called "I want to lick this". Only recently I have started to wonder if people understand what I am saying when I want to "lick" something. I am on the look out for peoples faces when I do say it, but it seems most people I talk to are used to me by now.

My definition of "licking" basically means I am calling something delicious, or delicious looking. I usually don't use this term to describe people, but most everything else.
Ex: "Oh my gosh, your new staircase looks amazing! I want to lick it!"

Personally I think my compliment is much more appropriate then when people say they want to "gobble you up" or "I could just eat you" they sound like cannibals, and if someone did look delicious enough to eat then they are greedy, not even thinking about leaving some for others.

"Licking" is so much better. One you never say it about a human, so your not a cannibal. And two it proves you know how to share. Instead of taking the whole thing, you just want a little taste, a little lick.

Grilled cheese and childhood

Sunday we went to my In-laws house to celebrate a birthday. While waiting for the food my sister-in-law Mailyn (who will soon be 12), my cousin-in-law Maddy (age 10) and I discussed which resturants we have only ate breakfast at, (we all agreed on Bob Evans), that Texas Roadhouses rolls and mac 'n' cheese was the greatest, and who had the best grilled cheese.
We all couldn't decide, then Maddy nodded her head in desicion, "Applebees"
And she was totally right, Applebees grilled cheese is so the best.

It surprised me on how much I had in common with these girls. My first thought was, "Aw, they're growing up."
Then I realized that we didn't have an in depth discussion about world peace, but where the best grilled cheese was.
They might be growing up, but I am staying a kid.

Pink, blue....White

So everyone is getting excited about buying baby clothes, they say they can't wait til we find out the gender to start shopping.
You know so they can buy pink or blue stuff.


I, however, and really excited to start buying white stuff. White oneies, white burp clothes, white socks, white blankets, little tiny white hats. I am getting super excited just writing it down. Hehehehehe.

Not sure why white, maybe because it can get super clean? Maybe because I associate white with comfy?
Whatever the reason I am super excited, and AND the best part is I do not have to wait to find out the sex to buy these things.

My baby is going to look like a tiny adorable angel.

ps. I totally plan on embroidering little wings into a few of babys oneies.

This has nothing at all to do with being preggo

Actually I guess it kinda does...

Penis Envy is true! You are prolly saying in your head right now, "no no, I do not want a penis" BUT WAIT! You might already own one! The answer:
....Dildos....

Okay, nevermind, it has nothing to do with being preggo.

Oh yeah!

I almost got to touch a squirrel today.



Jealous?

Its getting bigger

While brushing my teeth this morning, some toothpaste fell from my mouth to the sink.
Or at least thats what I thought since thats where it goes every other time it falls.
It landed on my belly....my belly was blocking the sink. I grew a shelf.

Only 3

Sitting here fucking around on the my computer and eating donuts with coffee, I just looked over at the nutrition facts.

Turns out three donuts is one serving size.

I can't remember how many I have ate.




ps. I know its more than 3

Ten things baby and me HAVE to do.

Okay so I just finished reading that American Baby magazine that did actually have another stupid article in it, plus one kinda of fun one. The fun one was about annoying people that you will meet along the way, and it would have been better if the author had offered other comebacks that weren't as nice.
Ex: Author mentioned that her and her 8 month preggo friend were out having lunch and when the friend ordered decaf coffee and a piece of cherry pie the waitress yelled, "You can't have that!"
The friend apparently started crying, which is sad. But I think the appropiate response would be "It's either the pie and coffee or a hunk out of your cheek."

Anyhoo, for some reason the article got me thinking about all the stuff that I want baby to experience, yes I'm not sure how an article about rude waitress' got me thinking about this either but whatever, and I'm really excited to do this stuff!

1) Definatly want my baby to touch a squirrel, I didn't get to touch one til my sophmore year in college when I snuck up on one and I don't want my baby to have to wait that long. I'm just going to have to figure out an escape plan if it chases us.

2) Chicken Nuggets of course!

3) Creek walking. Mike wants to be in charge of fishing, swamping, hiking, etc. But I am going to have to take baby on my version of creek walking, where you catch really tiny crawdads, get so messy people look at you and wonder how you got mud up to your ears in water two feet deep, and then release everything we catch so we can find them next time.

4) Read them the fairy tale stories by Gail Carson Levine, I have all of them so no problem there. And I don't care if baby is a boy, good stories are for everyone, especially my baby.


5) Using the stairs as a slide. This is done with sleeping bags, the top of a toy box, large pillows, or (if you can't find any of that stuff) your ass. This will have to wait until baby gets a little bigger because injuries are always involved.


6) Driving a car. I know what your thinking, 'Duh Bryn, of course you kid will drive a car', but my version is prolly cooler....and scarier. I want baby to experience driving a car without being able to reach the pedals. That makes it funner.


7) Take a bath while wearing clothing. If you have never done it, then somewhere your life has taken a wrong turn.


8) Coloring on the walls. This is seen as a 'no-no' and I don't understand why. First we shall try chalk, just for practice, then after that it doesn't really matter. Hell, maybe we will even dedicate an entire wall to drawing. How fun!


9) Reese Cups, Coke a Cola, and Lays Cheese and Sour Cream chips. All at the same time.


I can't think of a tenth thing....woops

Top ten baby names, poop

Just saw the top ten baby names in a magazine. Number three on the boys is the name we are going to use, Michael. We are naming our boy after Mike, so he will be a junior, the baby not big Mike. It took me a while to get on board with it at first, but I am totally for it now.

Now the sucky part is that if the name is in the top three, when our baby, if its a boy, goes to school then EVERYONE is going to have the name Michael. Poo.

Our girl name isn't on the top ten list, thank goodness. Its Molly, isn't that pretty :).

I'm not worried about telling anyone our baby names because if someone likes our names and then steals them and uses them, I am still going to name our babys Michael and Molly.
And then when I see your child, you name stealer, I am just going to tell them their parents are un creative and thiefs.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I read, and learn people are stupid

 I found an article in American Baby that I totally disagree with. Finding this article is like a freaking fate cuz I was just thinking the opposite!
Name of the article: Pregnant & Loving It
First of all the introduction uses the wording 'downright delightful' which I seriously can not think of a situation I would use those words without sarcasm, and in no way should be used to describe pregnancy. Its weird.
They broke there reasons for loving pregnancy into paragraph sections, and since I love you, I will be summarizing these into one to two sentences. My thoughts will be in italic.

You Munch With Meaning: basically it says cuz you are worried about your babies health, you eat healthier. So now you only eat really healthy stuff.
I am eating a lot healthier, in fact I have almost completely rearranged my eating habits. I hate it. I ate all kinds of good things before, good TASTING things. Now I eat all this healthy shit, and I have gained zero weight because of it. When baby pops out its back to coffee through out the day and all the chocolate I can inhale.

You Boogie With The Bump: this paragraph can be summed up with a quote, "When you're working out for two, breaking a sweat feels more enjoyable."
No, no it doesn't. You are a liar. My temperature is high all the time now because of those lovely hormones and I get dizzy if I move to much. Damn liar.


You Could Be Fighting Breast Cancer: if you conceive before 30, you may lower your risk for breast cancer. "Researchers aren't sure why."
Almost had me there, except of course when I read that 'may' part, oh and the part about researchers not knowing why. Which makes it sound like they made it up. Also the fact that my grandmother, great aunt, and great grandmother all had children in their 20s and still have lumps in their breasts. How about that for research.

You Get Smarter: you grow wiser, because you aren't drinking and smoking anymore. Also you have a doctor on call 24/7 to help you make the best descion.
Ha! I'm not sure how not drinking helps you grow wiser, but not being able to have an occasional beer SUCKS. And if you need to call the doctor for every descion you make, you were stupid to begin with. I am actually backpedaling in the brain cell category, yesterday I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair, and twice a week I try to leave the house without shoes.

You're The Center Of Attention: once you start showing everyone loves you. You get to cut in line for a long bathroom line, people carry things for you, hold doors, and bring you chairs to prop your feet up on. "So enjoy!"
You needy selfish bitch. I make jokes about not being able to do normal things cuz I am preggo, but to expect to be treated like a queen is bullshit. Stop it.

You Learn To Go Zen: the breathing and relaxation techniques you learn in childbirth classes help you after the birth to, well relax. When your toddler throws a fit in the store you will use the relaxation methods.
I am honestly not sure how this is helpful. Before I got preggy I learned how to relax myself, so I'm good. And I'm pretty sure that a child leash and chocolate bribery will be more effective than knowing how to breathe if your kid throws a fit in a store.

Surprise Yourself: watching your body transform is amazing. "Pregnant women are proud of their body and its incredible abilities."
Yes, almost, not really, but almost. Watching my body quickly go through all of my clothes is frustrating and sad. And the pregnant body is super cool, it would be just as cool if it was happening to my husband instead of me.

They also have a section called 'tangible' benefits:
Thicker Hair: the hormones make your hair thicker.
Yeah, it totally rocks to be laying in bed, completely naked with the A/C on and still sweat your ass off.
Stronger Nails: yet again, hormones.
It was neat for a few seconds to have long, strong nails, then I accidentally scratched my face and snagged some of the only clothes that fit me anymore.
Glowing Skin: increased blood flow gives you a rosy complexion.
I wouldn't describe the color as rosy, but more of a yellow brown color. It goes well with the greasy skin, erm, I mean glowing skin.
Increased Sexual Desire: more blood flow to your genitals can lead to heightened sex drive and greater pleasure.
Okay, this is true. Yes, ok! Yes, yes, YES!

TOTALLY Productive(thats a lie)

Not sure this if this would be an effctive sign, I would have to try it.

This may be my valentine card this year.

I like how shes honest.

I want to be friends with her.

I won't be going out today.

Hello Creepy Man.

This is the future Mike.

Zuper Secret!

I just looked at my handy dandy "What to Expect when you're Expecting" book, and it said I was in my fourth month, which is news to me, for some reason. I think its denial that makes me think I am DEFINITELY not four months along, because that would mean the baby would be coming in 5ish months.

If we are assuming this best seller book is telling the truth, then I am pretty sure that I should have gained more than 3 lbs this far. Cuz all that stuff growing inside me weighs stuff too right? I don't know, but we are seeing the midwife tomorrow so all my questions will be answered.

You want to here a super top super zuper secret? 'Kay but you can't tell anyone!
Actually I don't care if you tell anyone, I've told people so I guess I should take away one of those super's.

Anyhoo, I haven't got excited yet. I am happy and really really scared for when I actually push a living life form into this world and it will be another being that roams that world and plays a part in it, but other than that? No.
I'm not unhappy in anyway, but people are now asking me if I am excited about becoming parents, and I say 'yes', but what I am really thinking is 'Parents? Mike and I are just pushing another friend for us to play with into this world.' The idea that I will be called a Mother is strange, because that title belongs to my Mom. I am Bryn, and the baby of course can call me Ma or Mom or Mama because those are A LOT easier for an infant to say then Bryn. But when I think of myself being called a Mother, well the definition doesn't seem to fit.


Mother: a title of respect, loving, caring, selfless, stays up really late to make sure everyones lunch is packed and then wakes up really early to make sure everyone is bright eyed and bushy tailed before leaving on time, drives the kids to their practices and gives them a pep talk along the way, dresses everyone in matching clothes for the family photo

Bryn: most commonly associated with flaky, loving, kind(ish), stays up late to make lunches that she forgot to make earlier and then wakes up not so early to sip coffee and wake everyone else up so we can all run in a panic to TRY to leave the house on time, drives kids to practices (prolly running late) and pretends like she goes blind while driving to scare the kids and let them appreciate life a little more, dresses everyone in matching clothes for the family photo

Yeah, that last one matches because I am going to do that. I just love the family photos you see of all the family dressed in stripped shirts, making them all look like bugs. I am totally doing BUNNY EARS! I'm so excited.
But do you see what I mean? The definitions don't really match up right. I do wonder if, when the baby comes and I have little heart attacks every time it falls down and I have to keep Neosporin in my back pocket, I will magically change into a Mother. I don't wonder that to much because I know that I will still pretend to go blind in the car, thats just too funny.

I learned about presevence, Thank you Mr. Squirrel

He lays down at the end, poor little guy is pooped.

I throw up my emotions....its sad...sorry

I just read this amazing post from one of the bloggers I follow about how she lost her father when she was really young, and then asked the readers how they coped with loss. I realized that how I cope with loss is I just forget. I block out the funeral, and the memories that hurt, that way I can talk about the person with a smile on my face. Even now I think about deleteing what I have wrote so far and forgetting about writing about this post, but I won't, I don't think that is how I should handle it anymore.

For all the tears I didn't shed at the funeral, I will let them fall now, that way I don't carry them around and almost sob like a baby when I read something on facebook about him, or see a photo of him.

My Papaw died 8 months ago, on the day after my birthday. Honestly it couldn't been on the birthday, I don't remember, I just remember Mom waiting a few days to tell me so it wouldn't mess up my birthday, which is nice, but sitting here now all I can remember is sitting on the couch after Mom called and told me, and telling Mike. I didn't cry, it didn't even sink in.
"Papaw died"
And Mike just stared at me and then held me close, but tears still didn't come. I told him that we all expected it because he was so sick, and it was actually a blessing because he didn't hurt anymore. It was different, I said, that's why I'm not crying.
Then I snuck away and laid in our bed for a while, that's when the tears came, really slow. Mike found me and all I could do was apologize, I thought it was silly of me to cry when I knew it was coming. Mike is so much smarter than me, he held me again and told me not to say I was sorry, that it was still going to hurt no matter what. He's a good man.

I look back at that now and see how false that is to say its different because you know death is coming, death is still sad, still painful even if you had years to prepare, because you can't prepare to not have that person in your life, thats not possible.

I didn't go to school, because I knew no matter how strong Mom was she was going to need me, I told myself to be strong for others, to do what made the others hurt, so to save them a little. I went to Mamaw's house and got people coffee, I pulled old photos of Papaw out of picture frames to give to the funeral home, I gathered the clothes Papaw was going to be buried in, I held Mamaw and said nothing, because what in the world could you say. I worked beside Jade, my strong cousin, who did everything I did, and had tears in her eyes almost the entire time, she was amazing. My Mom, Jade, her brother Cole, and I ran through Walmart and Kohls looking for a tan v-neck sweater because Mamaw was in tears that we couldn't find it. I made jokes about being the only people in the world that could look through two huge stores in less than 15mins to try to bring some smiles to the day.

I can't remember if the wake was seperated into two days, or if it was just one. I do know that I went to every one of them though. I remember I kept chanting to myself, Don't Cry, Don't Cry, Don't Cry. And if anyone sees you cry, stop, they don't need to feel bad for you, there are others that need their hugs more than you.
I remember feeling selfish, and only whispering it to Mom and Mike, about how all I wanted for the last few months was that Papaw made it to my wedding, that he got to see me be married, and that he wouldn't be there now, there would be one less chair to gather. I didn't say it to anyone else during the wakes, because I thought it was so selfish to think about that.
I cried a few times during the wakes, but I don't think anyone noticed. I cried at night and still apologized to Mike.

During the wake that was held at the church before the burial, I walked around like a damn zombie. I literally didn't cry while the family greeted everyone, while I excepted hugs, and tearful "I'm sorry for you loss"s. One older couple, after greeting me, talked about me in whispers, thinking I couldn't hear them. The husband asked "what was wrong with me", he actually sounded concerned that my face wasn't covered in tears. The wife whispered back, "Shes in shock, complete shock." They shook their heads for me and walked away.
I thought, shock explains how I feel very well. I also felt ashamed that I couldn't take peoples attention off me even if I wasn't crying, my sorrow was a mask glued to my face.

I lost myself completely, when we sat and heard the preacher say wonderful things about Papaw, and my Mom broke down. I couldn't stop the tears, and I just held Mom while she tried to control herself. Then I saw something that broke me, just broke me. The biggest flower arragement, the one closest to Papaw casket, was made of red roses, yellow daisies, and purple statis. They were my wedding flowers. The exact same ones that I had ordered only a few weeks ago. Papaw knew, he knew he was missing it, knew it was important to me, and that was his way of being there. When I started sobbing, I somehow managed to tell my Mom what was wrong, and we both sobbed big baby sobs, the ones that take your breath away, and make you hiccup, and you try to muffle because you know you are being to loud.

After that cry though, I didn't cry anymore. We lit candles for the ones we missed at our wedding ceremony, and I know Papaw thinks its a great joke, cuz he was always smarter than us, and the flowers that made up my bouquet were red roses, yellow daisies, and purple statis.
I didn't read my families Facebook status' that said anything about Papaw, I avioded pictures of him.

I didn't think about that he died 4 months before my wedding, and 5 months before we found out I was pregnant. He would have loved that. I didn't think about that Mike really liked my Papaw, and Papaw actually liked him and wanted to get to know him, and never got to. Cuz a stupid family fight. I didn't think about how I didn't see as much of him as I should have towards the end for the same reason.
I didn't mourn him.

And that was wrong, I thinking about it now, I throwing up my emotions on this post, so I'm not scared of them anymore.

I'm going to remember Papaw. Remember: that he could hold his breath under water longer than me no matter how many times I tried, the stories he told of France and riding trains to get to other countries, that he taught himself German with a instruction manual and a German dictionary, that he used to type up my school reports for me and telling him he didn't have to erase a whole sentence to get to that one mispelled word, him falling asleep on our recliners with a cookie in his hand, driving the church bus and telling us that if stuck our heads out the window a truck would decapitate us and that it was totally true, telling me I had piano fingers and teaching me songs, listening to his beautiful music while I sat somewhere else in the house, him finding my cat after a day of losing her(he woke up to her sleeping on his chest), his birthday when he met Mike and insisted that he get in that family photo, him sitting in front of Mamaw hugging her and giving her kisses, the long math problems that he made up to test himself, how he would laugh if got the jeopardy question wrong, the day the riding mower caught on fire and he tried to put it out with a watering can. Ha, Mom and I ran across the field to stop him from getting close to that damn thing. Haha, two firetrucks and one emergency pickup truck showed up to put out the little riding mower.

I going to remember that stuff,
and I will never forget the flowers we shared.

The Disgusting Truth

I capitalized it cuz its super important in my life right now.

I haven't been able to post in a while because Mike and I have been house sitting, and we have yet to figure out the wireless internet there. Anywhoo...

I am now into my second trimester, I am about 14 weeks, and the vomiting has stopped for a while, but I still involuntary gag every once in a while, which is good because I would miss it if it went away completely.
Since I don't remember if I updated my bra search or not, and I am going to be lazy and not back check past posts, I'll fill you in. I got a bra, after trying on about 15 different ones trying to figure out if they fit or not, I found that my size is 38C. I can tell you this knowing that this will not be considered unwanted knowledge compared with what I will tell you later in this post. Eat this tidbit of sugary goodness, the sour ball is coming.
Well the bra I got is visible under my white shirts, which is inconvenient, but not really relevant anymore since I can no longer fit in them. I brought my bra home and modeled it for Mike, not in a 'sexual way', but in a 'bragging that I found a bra that fit way'.
He said, "Oh, good."
Which is what I have trained him to do when I show him clothing, so I was happy. I then took off the thing and put on a pajama shirt, throwing the bra on the bed. THEN he really looked at.
He said, "Whoa! That bra will NOT fit you!"
I said, "Mike you just saw it on me, it fits."
He said, "No, look at it! Its huge!"
I then held up the cup of the bra and held it up to my boob, which it of course fit perfectly. Mike was astonished. I can see where he was coming from though because after looking at the cups of my bra, they look like cereal bowls. Which I find hilarious, and sad that they fit now, but my boobs are still growing.

Sour Ball: I was warming you up before I gave this information, but this is what the title of this post is about. The truth about vomiting during preggy time, is that most of the preggo women stop during the second trimester, coming down with other symptoms including weight gain, constipation, swollen feet, and other things. I have stopped vomiting, like I mentioned earlier, but the two pounds that I proudly gained during my first trimester have vanished during my second.
This is because I am not like the lucky preggo women, yes I consider you lucky, that get constipation. I am unlucky because I have the exact opposite.
The lucky ones that get constipation, have pains in the belly, prolly worry about whether or not they are chewing thoroughly enough, and have long periods of sitting in the bathroom, followed by relief until the next bout comes along. Me, I have pains in my tummy, worry about everything I put in my mouth thinking that it is the cause, have short times in the bathroom where everything in my stomach comes out a damn liquid in less than 30 seconds, followed by a burning anus.

Its the truth, and its disgusting. I am still waiting for the time in the pregnancy where you feel like those smiling models in all the maturterny ads. But I'm pretty sure thats a lie.

A dirty, pretty, lovely LIE!

Angry Fruit!

You don't want to see him when he's angry, he turns into a GIANT PEAR!

He's like a sweeter tasting Hulk...and more travel sized.

@TheBloggess

Ha I forgot to put a title, I am totally goign to forget our names

So Mike and I have been talking about whether the baby is a girl or boy, he thinks its going to be a girl, I think boy, but as long as a healthy baby comes out we really don't care otherwise. We also talk a lot about how baby will look, because Mike and I share NO physical traits.
I have red hair, hazel eyes, very pale skin with freckles, and I'm kinda short(okay I'm short).
Mike has dark brown hair, super blue eyes, skin that tans with an hour of sunlight, and is an average height.
Even our toes are different!...but I'm getting off my point here..

Last night I had a dream about our baby, I ususally am not the one who dreams about baby, that's Mike's area, but last night I totally had one!
It was a girl, and it had exetremely long hair for a newborn, it was down to her shoulders! And I said, "Mike, see thats what all that indigestion was for!" It was this pretty brown color, not as dark as Mike's, but not even close to dirty blond. And it looked like it had been blown dry, which I questioned, but didn't say anything because it looked so good. She had pale skin, and lots of freckles, the thing about that though, was that it looked like one of the freckles took up most of her face, from under her eye, down her cheek and almost to her nose.
When I realized that she had got this gene of crazy freckles from me, I almost told Mike I was sorry, when our baby girl smiled at us, and she was just absolutely beautiful.

Thats about the end of my dream, the rest really isn't that interesting, we forgot the name we were going to name her, which made us look STUPID.
But other than that I can't wait for mike to call me on his break so I can tell him I am a psychic, maybe, and that we need to write those names on our hands BEFORE we leave for the hospital.

No one talks about the fat time

When and before you get preggo, people talk about the little baby and the baby bump, and the little clothes and furiture, and if they talk about the bad stuff then they mention the tender breasts and the painful contractions and the staying up at night with baby. No one ever mentioned the fat period of the pregnancy.

The time when you are actually getting a baby bump, but its not really there yet so you just look fat.
It's stupid, I don't like it.

pleh

Ugh okay grown up time...I have to buy a bra

Okay because of a good friend and a lovely husband, I have to suck it up and go out and buy a new bra. Bras are stupid.

I don't care if they make your boobies look nice or that they come in kinds of pretty shapes and sizes, they are LIARS!

They are comfortable when you put them on in the store and maybe for a day or two then BAM! They pinch and fold your skin in the wrong places, they have to much fabric which makes you feel inadequate even though its your damn size, the straps hurt and leave tiny marks, and even though you asked for a nude color bra, just so you could wear it with your nice white t-shirts, you can see it through the shirt!

Bras are stupid.
And I have to have one :( cuz my boobs are really starting to sag, and they really never had before.

A good friend said I should get one before its too late and they are keeping my knees warm, and my husband keeps looking at them and chuckling....he mentioned orangutans at one point.
Both is good and terrifying advice, which is making me venture out to find the cheapest bra I can find so I can throw it in the trash once I grow out of it, which might be in the next month, or weeks, I don't know how this boob thing works.

poo

Everything is INFLATING...and sagging

My boobs are getting huge, and starting to sag a little, which just makes me sweat a LOT more. It's really really gross. My butt is getting bigger, still. Which is awesome and makes my pants fit so much better.

Thats a lie, by the way, pants are now a 5 minute process once they reach the mountain that is my ass. Oh and its sagging nicely too, pretty sure I can hold a pencil up with it, which is a talent I could prolly win awards for.
My belly is not sagging yet, but it is inflating, and I have only gained 2 pounds so far. I keep having these weird dreams that my belly gets slightly bigger over night and then I don't notice it til I try to put a shirt on that no longer fits.

I don't have anything funny to say to end this post....I'm sorry I failed you.

Normally I wouldn't be so violent, but right now, don't let me near a gun

So to recap a little, I saw a kickass zombie flash mob at the Lancaster Arts fair, done by my wonderful friend and her family. Like I said it was kickass, later I will post a video. Then I threw up at a Mcdonalds and prehaps left my wallet there. No worries though, whoever found it would have turned it in, there is no money in it hehehe.

On other things, I just read about what happened in Norway, where there was a shooting at a youth camp and 84 were killed. Parents are said to still be looking for there kids.

I recently read something that pregnant women really shouldn't read about things that involve children, babies or parents dying, but I had to keep reading the article about Norway because I kept hoping that I would come to the part where the gun back fired took off half the mans face and he slowly bleed to death.
Targically that didn't happen, he still fucking alive.

Some parents are stilling looking for their kids...I never thought I would WANT to shoot someone, but I really think I would if I had a gun and I was near him. Fucker.

The best thing about this, is that I am a Christian and I believe that if he finds faith then God will accpet him and forgive him, which is why I love our merciful God, but even if he did ask forgivness he would have to live with those killings for the rest of his life, and it would be his own personal hell.

AND if he doesn't find faith, then I know that hell has a special room for him where worst tortures than I can imagine and he totally deserves will be waiting.

PS I kinda think pregnancy makes me a little more violent

PSS Even if I wasn't pregnant I would be pissed, but maybe not as violent

PSSS Maybe

This is all true, VERY VERY True

I Stumbled upon this wonderful link, in which the guidelines for all non-pregnant people interacting with pregnant people should follow.

I want this on a t-shirt, I don't care how long it would have to be or what size the type is, I will stand still so people can be informed. I'm nice like that.

My husbands WONDERFUL

Last night it was super hot, not like you know sexy, but actually HOT sweating totally uncomfortable heat. So I asked Mike, my wonderful hubby, to please get me a ice cub or bottle of water or something cold to lay on my back.
He came back with a 3/4 empty gallon bottle of Jager left over from our wedding. Its been in our freezer ever since and it felt AMAZING! I think I might have fell asleep with it on my back, but I'm not sure...prolly because I fell asleep.
I just think it is so sweet that Mike brought me, literally, the biggest cold thing he could find.

On a slightly sillier note, can you imagine a pregnant woman in her jammys passed the fuck out with a gallon bottle of Jager on her back??

No Puke Today!

AND I ate two apples, which is healthy and stuff, annndd found a outfit that I could wear that doesn't hurt me, and thats pretty much it. I wasn't very productive today...Oh oh I upped a level in Black Ops! So take that nonproductivness, HA!

....Ach! Fine I'll be honest, I don't think I can count the outfit thing, its a nighty....

Not a useless see-through one though, a solid one that I can walk out onto the porch and get the mail without having to worry about my woman parts showing, which is a big deal since my ass now makes almost ever dress or skirt I own about 3 inches shorter. Its turning into a damn shelf.

So I guess, the nighty does count!

My skirts hurt now

The elastic that holds up my pretty skirts, and also hides my pregnant, but doesn't look pregnant, just looks like fat, belly now hurts my sides. Its to the point that I consider the looks I would get if I just took off my skirt in public places. Everyone has seen a barely dressed woman before right? This is America.

AND I just had a dietian tell me that I have a nutritional problem...Slow Weight Gain.

Slow weight gain my ass, no really MY ASS! They should have just looked at it, its huge! Its like someone, a sneaky someone, stuck balloons in my ass and they inflate a little more everyday. Which is why the beautiful elastic in my skirts and soft shorts no longer are helpful, just painful, and irritating, and possibly a future cause of public nudity.

Did I mention I was pregnant?

Cuz I am, about 10 weeks or so. I am not eating fish, and I don't always throw up, but I feel sick almost everyday. I'm starting to show which I think is crazy exciting, but my clothes not fitting anymore really sucks. I wanted to find a blog that talks about the bitchiness of pregnancy, but also a place where people are can be mushy about being preggo.
Couldn't find one so I thought I would make my own, even it just turned into a really public journal. Do you like the background?? I chose it because it reminded me of blood, cleverly disguised as girly decoration.

Which is kinda a visual metaphor for this blog...kinda

I miss tuna

Or any kind of fish.
Mainly tuna.

Morning Sickness ROCKS!

I just love when you feel that flip of the tummy and taste the spagetti you ate last, its just sooo nice. I especailly love it when I try to run to the bathroom, put up my hair so I don't get puke in it, and throw up in my hand, at the same time! I didn't even make it to the toilet, just the sink.

If you didn't get that that entire thing was a lie, you should either check your eye sight, or grow another brain cell to rub up to the other one.

No I'm kidding, that was last bit was a lie, not the first part.

...no I am really kidding, grow another brain cell.