Monday, September 26, 2011

Did I mention I think I am more violent?

Pretty sure I did post that at some point.

I am not sure that my feeling of violent behavior is even note worthy to the normal population. I have only felt the urge once to hit someone, then actually follow through with the urge. I felt terrible immediately afterwards....sorry Mike, but the snow was really cold and it got in my socks!

Other than that one situation, I don't have any other examples of violence.

Now however, I believe my pregnancy has effected that dormant part in my brain. It's not necessarily violence, but it sure feels like it to me. I scream at people who drive stupid, hoping that their windows are down so they can hear me, I have to stop myself from yelling at the old people who, inconsiderately, stand in front of my friends wedding video and block the view, and its a weird and new sensation, that I don't control well because I have never had to.

And controlling it in the current situation that I find myself in is turning into something nearly impossible.

My photography professor is a bitch, and I am going to make her cry.

I have checked with other trusted people on what they would do to a person who talks someone(me) into buying a inexpensive camera to replace her old broken one then mocks said inexpensive camera in front of the class calling it a "shitty cheap camera", a person who pulls someone aside and asks them how they even passed Photo I and then talks to them like they're stupid(not me, but might as well have been, don't fuck with my friends!), and finally, a person who asks someone(me and friend) to redo a project that took a few weeks to complete, in one day, then after not completing in the one day announcing to the class that those who didn't complete the project(me and friend) should send apology letters around.
The trusted people that I have checked with say that she is a power hungry whore that needs bopped in the face. Preferably with something heavier than a fist.

So I have decided that I am going to manage my behavior until after my friend and I turn in this project, more for the benefit for my friend so she can wipe that silly smile off our Professor's face with her beautiful photographs, then I am not going to try to control myself anymore.

Thinking of all the choices I have to release my anger on this woman make me smile, don't worry none of them are physical. They're more along the lines of sending her an email that only says "Fuck you." and taking a well exposed photo of my middle finger with a caption underneath that says "No really, go fuck yourself" and turning it in as a project.

I kinda hope these feelings go away after the birth.


1 comment:

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