I just looked at my handy dandy "What to Expect when you're Expecting" book, and it said I was in my fourth month, which is news to me, for some reason. I think its denial that makes me think I am DEFINITELY not four months along, because that would mean the baby would be coming in 5ish months.
If we are assuming this best seller book is telling the truth, then I am pretty sure that I should have gained more than 3 lbs this far. Cuz all that stuff growing inside me weighs stuff too right? I don't know, but we are seeing the midwife tomorrow so all my questions will be answered.
You want to here a super top super zuper secret? 'Kay but you can't tell anyone!
Actually I don't care if you tell anyone, I've told people so I guess I should take away one of those super's.
Anyhoo, I haven't got excited yet. I am happy and really really scared for when I actually push a living life form into this world and it will be another being that roams that world and plays a part in it, but other than that? No.
I'm not unhappy in anyway, but people are now asking me if I am excited about becoming parents, and I say 'yes', but what I am really thinking is 'Parents? Mike and I are just pushing another friend for us to play with into this world.' The idea that I will be called a Mother is strange, because that title belongs to my Mom. I am Bryn, and the baby of course can call me Ma or Mom or Mama because those are A LOT easier for an infant to say then Bryn. But when I think of myself being called a Mother, well the definition doesn't seem to fit.
Mother: a title of respect, loving, caring, selfless, stays up really late to make sure everyones lunch is packed and then wakes up really early to make sure everyone is bright eyed and bushy tailed before leaving on time, drives the kids to their practices and gives them a pep talk along the way, dresses everyone in matching clothes for the family photo
Bryn: most commonly associated with flaky, loving, kind(ish), stays up late to make lunches that she forgot to make earlier and then wakes up not so early to sip coffee and wake everyone else up so we can all run in a panic to TRY to leave the house on time, drives kids to practices (prolly running late) and pretends like she goes blind while driving to scare the kids and let them appreciate life a little more, dresses everyone in matching clothes for the family photo
Yeah, that last one matches because I am going to do that. I just love the family photos you see of all the family dressed in stripped shirts, making them all look like bugs. I am totally doing BUNNY EARS! I'm so excited.
But do you see what I mean? The definitions don't really match up right. I do wonder if, when the baby comes and I have little heart attacks every time it falls down and I have to keep Neosporin in my back pocket, I will magically change into a Mother. I don't wonder that to much because I know that I will still pretend to go blind in the car, thats just too funny.